IMG_0775[2586]I co-sleep with my baby. And I regret nothing about it. I guess you could say it started right when our daughter was born. When we were in the hospital I was only able to see her every couple hours when it was time to breastfeed her. I was on a scheduled time to where I had to drop everything, walk about 30 feet down the hall, ring the door bell, unhook my daughter from all her machines and breastfeed her. Even many times in the middle of the night. She was in the NICU and it wasn’t easy seeing her only half of the day. Maybe even less than that. And only when she needed to eat. I guess we didn’t get that connection of being able to have our baby in the room with us right after she was born. So when we finally got to go home, I stayed up all night for days just holding her and making up for the time we had lost while in the hospital. I guess that is how the “bad habit” started.

Before I gave birth, I had read countless horror stories of mom’s who co-slept and killed their babies by crushing them. The mom’s who fell asleep and accidentally dropped their newborns off the bed and right onto their heads. Horrible right? In that moment I told myself there was no way in hell I would ever co-sleep. I think that was the exact same day we went out and got ourselves a bedside bassinet. It was an immediate sigh of relief that she was going to sleep safe and sound right next to the bed without all the scary factors getting involved. I followed all the rules. No blanket, no pillow, no stuffed animals, no loose and saggy clothing, no stomach sleeping, etc. Everything that would keep her safe and sound and out of harms way. He got home from the hospital around 5 PM and  night time was already approaching, I started her bed time routine. Bed, bath, bottle, and a book. Then it was time. I laid her tiny self into the bassinet, turned off the light and we went to bed…yeah right!

It was anxiety. I was asleep every five seconds to make sure she was alive and well. And trust me I know that if not all, then most mom’s do this. But unlike other moms who are maybe able to just grow out of it, I didn’t. Days went by and i was running off of absolutely nothing. Just raw mom power. That night I decided enough was enough. Because in reality, I wasn’t the only one loosing sleep. Maylene was not sleeping much at night either. After a long talk with my mom telling me it was okay to just give co-sleeping a try, I was still hesitant. But sleep for both May and myself was all that was on my mind. It was that night I decided I was going to try to co-sleep. And maybe not all night. Maybe just part of the night. Then I could put her back in the bassinet and all would be good. So I took every precaution I could that night. I moved to the center of the bed (squishing my husband to one side) Put a pillow on the other end, as well as pillows on the floor. I also bundled up so I wouldn’t have to use a blanket thus eliminating the thought of her getting trapped in the blankets. After all this, we laid down, shut our eyes and went to sleep…for the whole dang night too. She got up twice for a diaper change and feeding. The rest was silent, soft, pure sleep. And it was amazing.

Fast forward almost a year and here we are. Still sleeping softly, and soundly each night. Only with Maylene getting bigger, and moving around much more, we definitely get more of the feet in our face, or wake up with a little bum pressed up against our backs. Yes we have tried sleep training Maylene in her own crib and yes she is capable of it. But waking up in the middle to a sound sleeping little cuddle bug, holds such a loving place in my heart that i’m just not quiet ready to give up yet.

Many people ask what size of bed we have and no, we don’t have some California king with loads and loads of room to spare. Instead we have a quaint little queen. Yes, we all grew out of that bed very quickly. My husband and I love our bed and are no where near ready to give it up (especially knowing what we paid for the dang thing). So instead of getting a new bed to compensate for May growing up so fast, we figured out a way of adding her crib onto our bed. Pretty much we took the side of the crib off and made her mattress even with ours. That way she sleeps on her bed while me and Obed have our bed to ourselves. We also thought this would make the transition to her big girl room much easier when it happens (and it will!). But for now, we will continue to love and appreciate the time we have snuggling every night with our baby girl.

So moms, if you’re having a hard time deciding about co-sleeping, give it a try. It’s definitely not for everyone and that is 100% okay. Everybody does things differently and what works for me, might not work for you. But that’s what motherhood is about right? We are all just trying to figure this all out. Even though we probably wont!

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